‘Your BETTER Half’

‘Where is your BETTER half?’

I never liked the expression ‘where is your better half’ when someone asks about my spouse or even when the comment is used in reference to another couple. I know that the phrase is usually used in jest but it grates on me nevertheless.  It feels like a put down maybe because I have insecurities like most people do.  What if I said to someone; ‘where is your better half’ while referring to their brother or sister or their business partner? Would they be amused? More likely they would feel hurt and in some cases might even hate me for saying it. 

Yes, this phrase ‘where is your better half,’ is used most often in the marriage context. It probably springs from the common but ‘true’ belief that a married couple consists of two halves unified into one, as the bible says. Look in Ephesians 6:31 where it says: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery…” Therefore, why would anyone ask a spouse, ‘where is your better half’ when in marriage there are no two halves but a unified whole? Wouldn't you be suggesting that there is inequality or dysfunction in someone's marriage? At the very least you could be insulting the spouse you said this to. People shouldn't be so sensitive, right? Well unfortunately people are as sensitive as you are. Instead of making that unfortunate comment, it would be much kinder to simply ask where is or how is so-and-so doing and to just leave it at that. 

    

Jamais Déjà vu

An odd thing about Déjà vu; is that you can never prove something really did happen before. Yes you can be almost certain that you have seen, heard or been in a place before; but try to prove it –impossible. It would be weird if you could prove it.  There is another odd perception known as 'Jamais vu,' that the French say means, never seen. 'Jamais vu' occurs when you know something but you just can’t remember it, like your wedding anniversary date. Have you ever found yourself struggling to remember that actor's name that you like, was it Denzel? No! Maybe it was Brad something? No, not that either. After straining your brain to remember it's hopeless so you give up. Afterwards you look it up or it just comes to you in a flash and you want to kick yourself. You wonder why in the world couldn't you remember it when you needed to?  That's because you just experienced, Jamais vu.

Sometimes, I think that a third category of perception may apply; let’s call it ‘Jamais déjà vu.’ This occurs when, "it was right on the tip of your tongue, but you forgot to say the words, I love you." This happens to people all the time, but in order to gain a clearer understanding of this phenomenon check out the song Right on the Tip of My Tongue (click on it), by Brenda and the Tabulations. Has this ever happened to you? Better to say it, if you mean it.