A Penny for Your Thoughts (More Cowbell)

The last time I used that expression, "A penny for your thoughts" was while romantically gazing into my 'new' girlfriend's eyes. She is now my wife. I guess what I meant then was, what are you thinking right now, about me? For an answer, she literally jumped into my arms and I never forgot that. It's a good expression I think, one that you might consider using yourself, but you may not get the same results. But that's my 'two cents' anyway. Yes, I'm an incurable romantic -I've got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell.

We're all in the same boat (Quick Changes to make)

Three quick changes to make immediately to prepare for the future.

Number one. Get a Will. 71% of adult Americans don't have one and it is a big mistake. I think it would be fair to say that of all the people living today 100% of them will be dead within a God given time. Take it from me, you need a Will. It's not as expensive as you may think for a lawyer to prepare one. One simple Will costs under two hundred dollars but can save your poor loved ones thousands of dollars and volumes of frustration at the worst possible time. I refuse to refer people to self help make your own will websites because I have seen too many mistakes made by people without a clear understanding of the consequences of the words and phrases they choose to put in their will. It would be much better to talk to a lawyer and avoid making rookie mistakes in your Will. 

Number 2. Get a Durable Power of Attorney signed for yourself and by each of your elder loved ones.  It's used for  giving your spouse or another trustworthy person the legal power to make financial decisions for you should you become mentally incapacitated.

Number 3. The next thing for your immediate attention is to get Uninsured Motorists Coverage. There are so many people riding around out there without car insurance either because they can't afford it; or they are unreliable bill payers and their insurance gets cancelled for non-payment just moments before they crash their car into yours. See my earlier blog post Insure yourself against the Uninsured.

Make these changes today while there is still time. You won't regret it and you'll thank me for it latter.

Old School Religion (Stones will witness)

I use to think that memorials were weird but later I changed my mind about them. I changed my mind after I wound up erecting my own little memorial in a park one day.  This was during a time when I was having a major struggle with forgiving some others. I was resisting forgiving but I knew I didn't have the option of 'not' forgiving them, (as in Mt 6:15).  On that particular day in the park; inspired by something I read in the Old Testament, I said out loud to God: “Lord I am willing to forgive, I do forgive and I pledge to forgive, them!” Right after I spoke these words, I gathered up five small stones and piled them up to mark the spot where I made my solemn promise to God. In doing this, I was imitating ‘Jacob’ in the bible. Jacob set up stones as a memorial to commemorate his vision of angels in a dream (Ge 28:18); and after his talk with God (Ge 35:14); and once again after his covenant with Laban (Ge 31:45).  There are more examples of this practice in the bible but you get the idea.

(This heap of stones will be a witness Ge 31:52)

 

My hurt feelings and my unforgiveness vanished from my heart immediately after I set up my memorial.  And I do know that it was the Holy Spirit and not a pile of stones that changed my heart that day. But somehow just piling up stones as my spiritual ancestors once did, put me over the top and gave me the means to forgive. 

By the way, check out the lyrics (here) and video (here) for 'In The Stone' an EWF song about stones. I'm just saying that for me, Stones Will Witness.   

(The view from the memorial)

Everyman's Camp David

Going camping helped bring our family a spiritual renewal of commitment to God and to each other. Outdoor camping is an experience that no hotel or motel can ever duplicate. It is an adventure that requires a family to travel to a remote spot and then select a campsite.  Then they work together to set up the tent and the campsite.  For us it felt like we were building a home together in a new place. It gets very dark in the woods so be prepared to hang up one or two gas lanterns and keep your flashlights handy. Then you get to light that glorious campfire that brings more warmth and light to your little band of pilgrims. 

On a clear night there will be many more stars visible in the sky than in a city. If you traveled in a van or other large vehicle; try climbing up on its roof and lay down on your back. Look up at God’s splendor, the infinite universe of stars above you.  You could name some of the stars after your wife and children. Tell them a story. Pray, sing a song, whatever you want. When everyone is tired you can all go inside of your cozy tent to prepare for sleep.

The next morning, get up early! Put on some coffee, eggs, bacon and pancakes. This new day of camping will be great.  You will lie down in green pastures; you will walk besides still waters and you will explore the land. When it is time for another meal you will sit at a table that the Lord sets before you. Enjoy the view and the peace and quiet. Parents you may find that your kids will want to talk to you and connect with you out there. Husbands, you will have assumed the role of explorer, project manager, family leader and wilderness scout. Wives you will want to recommit to walking beside a  strong man to seek shelter from the storm called life, together. And your food will taste great outdoors.

We have never forgotten our camping experiences and we suspect that you also will warmly remember them.  You will want to do it again and explore different locations which keeps the sense of adventure going. Our family camped in about fifteen different Texas State Parks. Most states have beautiful state parks for camping, hiking, boating and fishing for you to enjoy.

The Wedding Convoy (Van On The Run)

Houston Texas 1978

Riding in a convoy from Houston headed up to Chicago to get married in 1980 was fun.  We drove in a three vehicle convoy conveying the bride and groom (me) along with family and friends to our wedding venue.  Starting off, my brother led off in his car  taking up the 'front door' position in this convoy.  I drove my 'Street Van' (see my earlier posts The Street Van Man); along with my bride to be, a bridesmaid and a wedding guest. We were in the precious cargo middle vehicle position. A cousin drove his car with his wife and other wedding guests taking up the 'back door' car position. In a convoy the lead car's job is to keep the front door open for the convoy and the last car's job is the keep the back door shut! During our long ride the cars in our convoy would take turns being the lead car.  We all had CB radios in our cars, talked in CB slang and we had typical CB radio handles like Geronimo, Outcast and Phoenix (these are fictitious names our real CB handles are now classified).  It was an eighteen hour ride straight through to Chicago and we were driving faster than the nationally mandated 55 MPH speed limit. This is where our CB radios came in handy; we kept up constant radio chatter with each other because our convoy was on a mission to make good time.   With our CB(s) we 'kept our ears on' to stay on the lookout for and get advance warnings about speed traps from truckers and other drivers on the interstate. This was called getting  ‘Smokey’ reports.

Smokey The Bear

We received lots of willing help over our radios from truckers and other drivers and we would all slow down to the posted speed limit when we received a  ‘Smokey (or Bear) in the grass’ report or heard a ‘Smokey's on the prowl, taking pictures’ report. We could actually zero in on the Smokey’s exact location on the road by asking the reporting driver what his ‘20’ was (his location by mile marker) where he saw that Smokey.

Our route took us out of Texas by way of Texarkana then through Arkansas and a small part of Missouri then all the way through Illinois.  Once we did get threatened by a  Missouri State Trooper over the CB radio who said: “Y’all stop it or I’ll hunt you down!” We did cool it for awhile after we heard that; but got right back into our speeding routine after we crossed the state line into Illinois. We made it to Chicago safely and we made very good time without once getting pulled over and 'bitten by a bear!' After the wedding was all over our convoy headed back the other way to Houston but now we were not quite in so much of a hurry.

Chicago 1970

‘Your BETTER Half’

‘Where is your BETTER half?’

I never liked the expression ‘where is your better half’ when someone asks about my spouse or even when the comment is used in reference to another couple. I know that the phrase is usually used in jest but it grates on me nevertheless.  It feels like a put down maybe because I have insecurities like most people do.  What if I said to someone; ‘where is your better half’ while referring to their brother or sister or their business partner? Would they be amused? More likely they would feel hurt and in some cases might even hate me for saying it. 

Yes, this phrase ‘where is your better half,’ is used most often in the marriage context. It probably springs from the common but ‘true’ belief that a married couple consists of two halves unified into one, as the bible says. Look in Ephesians 6:31 where it says: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery…” Therefore, why would anyone ask a spouse, ‘where is your better half’ when in marriage there are no two halves but a unified whole? Wouldn't you be suggesting that there is inequality or dysfunction in someone's marriage? At the very least you could be insulting the spouse you said this to. People shouldn't be so sensitive, right? Well unfortunately people are as sensitive as you are. Instead of making that unfortunate comment, it would be much kinder to simply ask where is or how is so-and-so doing and to just leave it at that. 

    

Jamais Déjà vu

An odd thing about Déjà vu is that you can never prove something really did happen before. Yes, you can be almost certain that you have seen, heard, or been in a place before, but try to prove it –it's impossible. It would be weird if you could prove it.  There is another odd perception known as 'Jamais vu,' that the French say means, never seen. 'Jamais vu' occurs when you know the something that you just can’t remember like your wedding anniversary date. Have you ever found yourself struggling to remember that actor's name that you like, was it Denzel? No! Maybe it was Brad something? No, not that either. After straining your brain to remember it seems hopeless so you give up. Afterwards you look it up or the memory just comes back to you in a flash and you want to kick yourself. You are puzzled and wonder why in the world you  couldn't remember it when you needed to?  That's because you just experienced, Jamais vu.

Sometimes, I think there's a third category of perception that may apply; let’s call it ‘Jamais déjà vu.’ This occurs when, "it was right on the tip of your tongue, but you forgot to say the words, I love you." This happens all the time but in order to gain a clearer understanding of this phenomenon, check out the song Right on the Tip of My Tongue (click on it), by Brenda and the Tabulations. Has this ever happened to you? Better to say it, if you mean it.