A Song for you

A heart is a house for love.  And I learned that it don’t take too much to break up or to build it up. Try typing those words out on your computer once, maybe twice. Just by taking the effort to type them, those words may get their message through to you.  At least I hope so for yours and everybody else's sake.  Is there a heart in the house tonight?

I finally read and understood the words to this Dells song just today.  And the words cut me. I never before realized, just how deep their message is.  (A Heart is a House for Love - by The DELLS).  Although, I've heard this song many times before I missed it. It's very deep. I guess the rhythmic beat in the song used to carry me off somewhere and I never truly listened to it's content before now.

Anyway B and the rest of you too. This song's for YOU and for the (man) or (woman) that you married. So read the lyrics, they are written below. They're long but don't skip over anything and maybe you'll learn something. Something valuable, maybe even crucial about love.

A heart is a house for love
And I learned (I learned) that it don't take much to build it up. (Build it up.)
Build it up, build it up, build it up.
Ooh

Two wrongs don't make it right,
But too long was the night I kept you guessing.
It's all I can do, (All I can do.)
And hope that maybe you'll come around again.
Now I see that the wonder of devotion,
It doesn't, it doesn't come free.

A heart is a house for love
And I learned (I learned) that it don't take much to break.
A heart is a house for love
And I learned (I learned) that it don't take much to build it up.
Oh

Today I understand,
I'll pay the price to be all the man you need.
You know you got to be free.
(Go find your way.) Go find your way,
Find your way back to me.
Now I see (I see) that the wonder of devotion,
It doesn't, it doesn't come free.

A heart is a house for love
And I learned (I learned) that it don't take much to break.
A heart is a house for love
And I learned (I learned) that it don't take much to build it up. Build it up.
A heart is a house for love
And I learned, I learned, I learned (I learned) that it don't take much to break.
A heart is a house for love, hey, hey, hey.
I learned that it don't take much to build it up.
Build it up, build it up, build it up.
Oh, yeah.
Build it up, build it up, build it up (Mm)

Build it up together either near or far.
(Oh, oh, oh)
Build a house full of hearts to stand it all.
Is there a heart,
Is there a heart in your house tonight.
Stand up. (Stand up)
Stand up, let me know.
Let me know that you understand.
Is there a heart in your house tonight.
You got to have love (You got to have love.)
Love in your heart tonight.

Build it up together and then it won't fall.
Build it up.
Build a house full of hearts to withstand it all.
Two hearts are better than one.
Build it up together and then it won't fall.
Two hearts belong together.
Build a house full of hearts to withstand it all.
Build it up.
Is there a heart,
Is there a heart in your house tonight.
Stand up. (Stand up)
Stand up, let me know that you understand.
Better listen to me.
Love doesn't come free, you gotta build it up.
Is there a heart,
Is there a heart in your house tonight.
Stand up. (Stand up)
Is there a heart in your house tonight.
One love, our love, your love, somewhere, somebody.
Is there a heart,
Is there a heart in your house tonight.
Is there a heart in your house tonight.
Is there a heart in your house tonight.

Always, never out my mind.
You're always on my mind.
I love, love, love, love you all the time.
(Build it up, build it up, build it up.)
Oh, build it up. (A heart is a house for love.) Build it up.
Build it up, build it up.
Build it up. (A heart is a house for love.)
Let me know that you understand.
(Build it up, build it up, build it up.)
A heart is a house for love.

A Heart is a House for Love –The DELLS
(click for audio)

Why he died (of heartbreak)

He didn’t admit his part in causing the fiasco nor did he forgive the others involved.

He didn’t accept God’s forgiveness for himself that was freely given.

He struggled with self pity and failed to recognize when he was in it.

He didn’t use spiritual tools to 'cast out' the intrusive thoughts.

He was so depressed but never sought help from anyone.

It’s the same old story. But with a different meaning, now that it was he who was feeling the hurt.

The Clothes Dryer Stumble

Circa 1995 AD, four years sober.  They said in meetings; don’t make any big changes when you first get sober. But I was four years down the road so my wife and I bought a new house across town and moved in. Our old washer and dryer made the trip but they were so raggedy that I decided it was time to replace those too.  So I did that at Sears and they delivered a new washer and dryer to our new home and connected them.  Later that day when my wife came home and saw them she said, “Oh you got an electric dryer.” “So,” I said. "But I wanted a gas dryer; don’t you remember we talked about this once? Gas dryers are cheaper to run and they dry your clothes better.”  Right then was the point when I would have flown into a rage during the old days. By old days I mean four years earlier or even four weeks earlier.  But I held back, I had to.

I felt the rage building inside but instead of exploding I said okay; I’ll look into it. I didn’t fly off into a rage this time because of a little change that had occurred inside of me.  I don’t know if it was humility, or faith, or just a desperate desire to be sober that changed in me. But I am so grateful that I didn’t explode. I called Sears the very next morning and explained to them exactly what had happened. To my surprise Sears said, “No problem we can switch it out for you for just the price difference for a gas dryer.” As it  turned out there was only a $50 price difference so I quickly agreed to it.  The very next day Sears swooped in and changed out the electric dryer with a gas one and connected it up at my house.  I couldn’t believe that the solution was so simple.   I would have made the problem into a much bigger one, had I not been sober.  I would have gotten very angry and I would have stubbornly  forced her to keep that electric dryer. She in turn would have been frustrated and very unhappy with the electric dryer.  But yet, miraculously instead my wife was happy with her new gas dryer and I felt at peace. I really do prefer peace in my life, I have always wanted inner peace and this was one of the instances when I actually received it.

I shared this electric dryer story at the very next recovery meeting I attended and everybody had something to say about it. Everyone sharing seemed encouraged to know that this sobriety thing can actually work, against all odds. We all concluded that we must make a conscious effort to choose peace by resisting our natural tendency; to insist on having our own way. This was a turning point for me and a lesson I would do well to remember even today twenty years latter. This is true because I still have that same natural tendency to boil over and spoil everything instead of choosing peace. Hopefully we can all grow in this and enjoy peace in ever increasing measure.

Does Anybody Really Know What Time it Is?

As I was walking through the house one day. My little son (Alex) came up to me and said:
"Does anybody really know what time it is?
Does anybody really care? If so I can't imagine why -care about time.
We've all got time enough to cry. Oh no, no, no."

So I looked at him and said, "Well I suppose your wife may care about time some day.
And I suppose your job may also care about time ooh, ooh!"
And then sadly, I looked at him and began to teach him all about time... Oh no, no, no, no.
Above personalized lyrics are sung to the Chicago Band tune "Does Anybody Really Know What Time it Is. Click on the following link:

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FzCWLOHUes

The Bad Christmas Trip

First I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Feliz Navidad from the bottom of my heart.

But some of us ought to go ahead and acknowledge that we start tripping this time of year. Christmas is a time for giving but it is also a time for receiving. When we expect to get as much as we give or want to give, that's when the trouble begins. Our expectations rise to the occasion and our self pity kicks in because we know that we won't get what we want; even if we don't even know what we want.

So what's the solution? For me its important to take myself out of the equation by focusing on who is really important. First of all its God then others. If I am being grateful to God for his gifts of love, grace and mercy then this will surely stop the madness of the season. The rest of the year will be better too.

Beginnings

This is what I would have said to her had I met my wife while we were still in high school instead of when we did meet, seven years after high school. In high school I was a musician and I loved playing jazz and rock music on my slide trombone.  The words to the Chicago band's song Beginnings, express just how I would've felt had we met in high school. I really hope she would have liked it had I played Beginnings on my horn to her and sang it too. But its hard to know just what her reaction would have been. I'm guessing that her feelings would've been hard for her to put into words. Maybe she would have been...silent... silent, yet hopefully in a good way. 

The song Beginnings (you can hear by clicking here!)

Song lyrics excerpts are below. 
Songwriter: Robert Lamm

When I'm with you, it doesn't matter where we are, or what we're doing
I'm with you, that's all that matters.
Time passes much too quickly, when we're together laughing I wish I could sing it to you, oh no, I wish I could sing it to you.

Oh whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.
Oh whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.
Mostly I'm silent, mm-hm-hm-hm... Silent, la la la la la.

Never think of the right words to say.

When I kiss you, I feel a thousand different feelings
The color of chills all over my body, yeah, yeah, yeah!

And when I feel them, I quickly try to decide which one?
I should try to put into words, oh no, try to put into words.

Mostly I'm silent... Silent... La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la... Silent.

Dirt

It is really early in the morning.  There is a big pile of dirt in my driveway about 41 cubic yards along with 30 pieces of grass sod stacked behind it.  A dump truck dropped these off last Wednesday but there is no religious significance to their presence. My plan was to get my yardman to spread the dirt at the top part of my front lawn (nearest to the house) where the earth is barren that is, without a grass covering.  The earth in this area was eroded by rain due to a lack of grass and large tree roots that are clearly visible above the ground from my two large oak trees.  I want to cover those roots over with my new soil and then plant the new grass sod so that I can have a nice green front lawn. After all the Lord wants me to “lie down in green pastures” not barren ones am I right?  I swear on a stack of bibles that I don’t really talk like this!   This yardman, who usually cuts my grass showed up Thursday, took one look at that pile of dirt and ran saying he’d return on Friday.  Well it’s Saturday and he hasn't returned yet.  I guess he doesn't have the kind of faith that could “move mountains,” but I do.  So I’m just going to have to do the job myself and keep my appointment with a shovel and a sore back.  Please pray for me.