Talk to the HAND

 

"Wi – Five," to all of you who've kept it clean and positive on social media and online.  As for those who attack and belittle others (you know who you are); "Talk To The HAND!"  Or don't you know, that It is better to gather than to scatter. (Matthew 12:30).

The Ghost of Christmas Past

 

Right before Christmas I did it again. I went into Wal-Mart to pick up some free envelopes for some picture cards and while there, I purchased a new 32 inch television. I bought it on impulse because the price ($200) seemed so low and maybe it was. It was a Vizio, they're a good TV right? The point is, I don’t need a TV.  Well maybe I can put the new 32 inch in the guest room. The one in there now is an old vacuum tube dinosaur but it still works.  What's troubling me is that I forgot all about the ‘Don’t spend money over a certain amount without consulting your spouse rule’. Had I followed the rule she probably would have said NO and I would have quickly agreed with her. So back it goes tomorrow to Wal-Mart. Keeping the thing  would haunt me about my scary lack of self control.  And that reminds me that all kinds of mayhem occurs around this time of year. Many people including myself can do some scary things around Christmas time. Our wants overshadow our needs. We spend too much and we obsess over giving and receiving 'things'. The crime rate goes up, addicts get triggered and use, alcoholics fall off the wagon, gamblers will break the bank one more time. Life can be a struggle sometimes can't it?  But there is hope, may you find Him now: Mark 1: 32-34.

 

 

The Time Out

I was driving down US 59 North in the city when some guy in a minivan got in my way so I cussed him out; “what the helping are you doing you blank of a blank!!??” Instantly, I felt ashamed because that’s not the way a Christian should act let alone talk. I try to control my tongue, my thoughts too, but while driving I don’t do very well with that. Usually it’s because I'm impatient with other drivers.  Although I felt bad, I knew that just feeling bad wasn’t enough. I had to kill this thing (my foul mouth) or at least teach it to respect authority -God’s.  I knew what to do, it’s something I used to do before when I was more, radical? I call it the 'Road Rage Time Out' (RRTO) it works like this. I must make a mandatory exit from the freeway as soon as it is safely possible. Then I have to park my car for a full five minutes to Eat, Pray, Love. No not the movie by that name, I’m talking about communing with God by reading scriptures eat. Then I'll pray for the person I just blessed out and in so doing put some love back into my heart.  Making a five minute stop is difficult because it could make me late for something or at least inconvenience me. But that's the whole point of an RRTO. After I finish making my amends, I'll continue on my way -but as a changed man. No longer feeling angry or impatient but instead calm, serene, forgiving and right with God. If you do this every time you get road rage you might find that you'll soon change your behavior for the better. It's worked for me, it had to. Otherwise driving even a short distance would take me a very long time. 

A Penny for Your Thoughts (More Cowbell)

The last time I used that expression, "A penny for your thoughts" was while romantically gazing into my 'new' girlfriend's eyes. She is now my wife. I guess what I meant then was, what are you thinking right now, about me? For an answer, she literally jumped into my arms and I never forgot that. It's a good expression I think, one that you might consider using yourself, but you may not get the same results. But that's my 'two cents' anyway. Yes, I'm an incurable romantic -I've got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell.

We're all in the same boat (Quick Changes to make)

Three quick changes to make immediately to prepare for the future.

Number one. Get a Will. 71% of adult Americans don't have one and it is a big mistake. I think it would be fair to say that of all the people living today 100% of them will be dead within a God given time. Take it from me, you need a Will. It's not as expensive as you may think for a lawyer to prepare one. One simple Will costs under two hundred dollars but can save your poor loved ones thousands of dollars and volumes of frustration at the worst possible time. I refuse to refer people to self help make your own will websites because I have seen too many mistakes made by people without a clear understanding of the consequences of the words and phrases they choose to put in their will. It would be much better to talk to a lawyer and avoid making rookie mistakes in your Will. 

Number 2. Get a Durable Power of Attorney signed for yourself and by each of your elder loved ones.  It's used for  giving your spouse or another trustworthy person the legal power to make financial decisions for you should you become mentally incapacitated.

Number 3. The next thing for your immediate attention is to get Uninsured Motorists Coverage. There are so many people riding around out there without car insurance either because they can't afford it; or they are unreliable bill payers and their insurance gets cancelled for non-payment just moments before they crash their car into yours. See my earlier blog post Insure yourself against the Uninsured.

Make these changes today while there is still time. You won't regret it and you'll thank me for it latter.

Old School Religion (Stones will witness)

I use to think that memorials were weird but later I changed my mind about them. I changed my mind after I wound up erecting my own little memorial in a park one day.  This was during a time when I was having a major struggle with forgiving some others. I was resisting forgiving but I knew I didn't have the option of 'not' forgiving them, (as in Mt 6:15).  On that particular day in the park; inspired by something I read in the Old Testament, I said out loud to God: “Lord I am willing to forgive, I do forgive and I pledge to forgive, them!” Right after I spoke these words, I gathered up five small stones and piled them up to mark the spot where I made my solemn promise to God. In doing this, I was imitating ‘Jacob’ in the bible. Jacob set up stones as a memorial to commemorate his vision of angels in a dream (Ge 28:18); and after his talk with God (Ge 35:14); and once again after his covenant with Laban (Ge 31:45).  There are more examples of this practice in the bible but you get the idea.

(This heap of stones will be a witness Ge 31:52)

 

My hurt feelings and my unforgiveness vanished from my heart immediately after I set up my memorial.  And I do know that it was the Holy Spirit and not a pile of stones that changed my heart that day. But somehow just piling up stones as my spiritual ancestors once did, put me over the top and gave me the means to forgive. 

By the way, check out the lyrics (here) and video (here) for 'In The Stone' an EWF song about stones. I'm just saying that for me, Stones Will Witness.   

(The view from the memorial)

Everyman's Camp David

Going camping helped bring our family a spiritual renewal of commitment to God and to each other. Outdoor camping is an experience that no hotel or motel can ever duplicate. It is an adventure that requires a family to travel to a remote spot and then select a campsite.  Then they work together to set up the tent and the campsite.  For us it felt like we were building a home together in a new place. It gets very dark in the woods so be prepared to hang up one or two gas lanterns and keep your flashlights handy. Then you get to light that glorious campfire that brings more warmth and light to your little band of pilgrims. 

On a clear night there will be many more stars visible in the sky than in a city. If you traveled in a van or other large vehicle; try climbing up on its roof and lay down on your back. Look up at God’s splendor, the infinite universe of stars above you.  You could name some of the stars after your wife and children. Tell them a story. Pray, sing a song, whatever you want. When everyone is tired you can all go inside of your cozy tent to prepare for sleep.

The next morning, get up early! Put on some coffee, eggs, bacon and pancakes. This new day of camping will be great.  You will lie down in green pastures; you will walk besides still waters and you will explore the land. When it is time for another meal you will sit at a table that the Lord sets before you. Enjoy the view and the peace and quiet. Parents you may find that your kids will want to talk to you and connect with you out there. Husbands, you will have assumed the role of explorer, project manager, family leader and wilderness scout. Wives you will want to recommit to walking beside a  strong man to seek shelter from the storm called life, together. And your food will taste great outdoors.

We have never forgotten our camping experiences and we suspect that you also will warmly remember them.  You will want to do it again and explore different locations which keeps the sense of adventure going. Our family camped in about fifteen different Texas State Parks. Most states have beautiful state parks for camping, hiking, boating and fishing for you to enjoy.

The Wedding Convoy (Van On The Run)

Houston Texas 1978

Riding in a convoy from Houston headed up to Chicago to get married in 1980 was fun.  We drove in a three vehicle convoy conveying the bride and groom (me) along with family and friends to our wedding venue.  Starting off, my brother led off in his car  taking up the 'front door' position in this convoy.  I drove my 'Street Van' (see my earlier posts The Street Van Man); along with my bride to be, a bridesmaid and a wedding guest. We were in the precious cargo middle vehicle position. A cousin drove his car with his wife and other wedding guests taking up the 'back door' car position. In a convoy the lead car's job is to keep the front door open for the convoy and the last car's job is the keep the back door shut! During our long ride the cars in our convoy would take turns being the lead car.  We all had CB radios in our cars, talked in CB slang and we had typical CB radio handles like Geronimo, Outcast and Phoenix (these are fictitious names our real CB handles are now classified).  It was an eighteen hour ride straight through to Chicago and we were driving faster than the nationally mandated 55 MPH speed limit. This is where our CB radios came in handy; we kept up constant radio chatter with each other because our convoy was on a mission to make good time.   With our CB(s) we 'kept our ears on' to stay on the lookout for and get advance warnings about speed traps from truckers and other drivers on the interstate. This was called getting  ‘Smokey’ reports.

Smokey The Bear

We received lots of willing help over our radios from truckers and other drivers and we would all slow down to the posted speed limit when we received a  ‘Smokey (or Bear) in the grass’ report or heard a ‘Smokey's on the prowl, taking pictures’ report. We could actually zero in on the Smokey’s exact location on the road by asking the reporting driver what his ‘20’ was (his location by mile marker) where he saw that Smokey.

Our route took us out of Texas by way of Texarkana then through Arkansas and a small part of Missouri then all the way through Illinois.  Once we did get threatened by a  Missouri State Trooper over the CB radio who said: “Y’all stop it or I’ll hunt you down!” We did cool it for awhile after we heard that; but got right back into our speeding routine after we crossed the state line into Illinois. We made it to Chicago safely and we made very good time without once getting pulled over and 'bitten by a bear!' After the wedding was all over our convoy headed back the other way to Houston but now we were not quite in so much of a hurry.

Chicago 1970

‘Your BETTER Half’

‘Where is your BETTER half?’

I never liked the expression ‘where is your better half’ when someone asks about my spouse or even when the comment is used in reference to another couple. I know that the phrase is usually used in jest but it grates on me nevertheless.  It feels like a put down maybe because I have insecurities like most people do.  What if I said to someone; ‘where is your better half’ while referring to their brother or sister or their business partner? Would they be amused? More likely they would feel hurt and in some cases might even hate me for saying it. 

Yes, this phrase ‘where is your better half,’ is used most often in the marriage context. It probably springs from the common but ‘true’ belief that a married couple consists of two halves unified into one, as the bible says. Look in Ephesians 6:31 where it says: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery…” Therefore, why would anyone ask a spouse, ‘where is your better half’ when in marriage there are no two halves but a unified whole? Wouldn't you be suggesting that there is inequality or dysfunction in someone's marriage? At the very least you could be insulting the spouse you said this to. People shouldn't be so sensitive, right? Well unfortunately people are as sensitive as you are. Instead of making that unfortunate comment, it would be much kinder to simply ask where is or how is so-and-so doing and to just leave it at that. 

    

Jamais Déjà vu

An odd thing about Déjà vu; is that you can never prove something really did happen before. Yes you can be almost certain that you have seen, heard or been in a place before; but try to prove it –impossible. It would be weird if you could prove it.  There is another odd perception known as 'Jamais vu,' that the French say means, never seen. 'Jamais vu' occurs when you know something but you just can’t remember it, like your wedding anniversary date. Have you ever found yourself struggling to remember that actor's name that you like, was it Denzel? No! Maybe it was Brad something? No, not that either. After straining your brain to remember it's hopeless so you give up. Afterwards you look it up or it just comes to you in a flash and you want to kick yourself. You wonder why in the world couldn't you remember it when you needed to?  That's because you just experienced, Jamais vu.

Sometimes, I think that a third category of perception may apply; let’s call it ‘Jamais déjà vu.’ This occurs when, "it was right on the tip of your tongue, but you forgot to say the words, I love you." This happens to people all the time, but in order to gain a clearer understanding of this phenomenon check out the song Right on the Tip of My Tongue (click on it), by Brenda and the Tabulations. Has this ever happened to you? Better to say it, if you mean it.

Dropping a Dime (Modern day Crime Busting)

How are you going to drop a dime on some scum bag when there aren't any more public pay phones. Used to be you could rat somebody out to the police with a quick anonymous and therefore completely safe phone call from a pay phone. They used to be conveniently located at gas stations, airports, hospitals and at lonely truck stops on the highway. Now you can’t even find a pay phone anywhere you look.  Don’t bother to make that call on your cell phone, it’s probably traceable in about nineteen different ways and somebody will always know it was you. Okay, you can buy a Prepaid Phone with a phone number that’s not registered in your real name; that could work -hurry while supplies last. They are very popular with some people.  One big drawback with a prepaid phone is that you’ll have to destroy it like they do in the movies, after just one call to the cops. Can you afford to do that?  

I wonder how many crimes are going unreported now that we can no longer drop a dime on a crook anonymously and safely. Well if you’re desperate enough and have transportation you can search your city, you might get lucky. I found the one pictured in the photo at a lonely truck stop outside of Houston. Too bad it doesn't have a handset attached.

Don't just man up, God Up!

Okay I've heard the expression going around to, “Man up!” It’s similar to cowboy up, buck up, straighten up and the ever popular get yourself together man. The last time I heard the expression was on TV last week when a disgraced politician used it while apologizing for his wrongdoings.  But this post is not about public figures it’s about you and I. I suppose the expression to man up does mean to own up to one’s mistakes or to take some responsibility, but I suspect what it really means is; I’m sorry I got caught man, my bad. But to God up means more than just making a mere apology.  It means going to God and asking him to help you identify the exact nature of your wrongs. Then maybe you can admit to yourself and to others that you are a corrupt individual.  You tell God sorrowfully and brokenly that you want to change and really mean it; He knows it when you really don’t. Then going further you take some active steps to make amends to those you have harmed. For instance, by returning what was taken and by fixing what you broke to the best of your ability. Now do you see the difference between a man up and a God up? The latter is a spiritual act not just a human one and it calls for true repentance. It takes wisdom and courage to God up but it only takes false humility to man up.

Always Expect a Train! (when you engage in risky behavior)

There is a saying used by a railroad that says, “Always expect a train!” Trains don’t come after us or go looking for us to flatten us; usually we just get in their way. When we are on the tracks the train will do what a train does and barrel right over and through you and kill you. There are circumstances in life that are like that.  When we get into some risky behaviors, get addicted to drugs, alcohol, money, sex you name it; we are putting ourselves right onto the train tracks of life.  I won’t say something may happen to you when you least expect it. Instead I'll say the expected will happen because you should always expect a train!  If you haven't been hit by a train yet, you will be. Just as long as you are doing the wrong things and are playing in the wrong places.

Reconciling Love in Marriage

You hurt your spouse deeply by (________________) fill in the blank or you hurt each other. Is this the end of the marriage or is there hope? Yes, there is hope because God can fix it if you are humble enough and honest enough. The first step is to stop the behavior. The next step is to face reality and honestly admit to yourself and to God your part in whatever hurting thing that took place. After this breakthrough you will need to have strong faith because now you must forgive your spouse's part in whatever happened between you.  

You must say the words, "I forgive you!" Then begin treating him or her as if they had never sinned against you. I’m not talking about being in denial nor about simply forgetting what happened. I’m talking about what I call active forgiveness. The making of a firm decision to treat your spouse as innocent of wrongdoing, the granting of a full pardon to your spouse. Keep repeating this active form of forgiveness every day until the hurt you feel is gone from your hearts. This could take awhile, but don’t quit  just minutes before this miracle happens for you.

Part of the healing process you’ll experience is the softening of your hearts which allows the stirrings of love to begin again or should I say to begin anew. This will be a beautiful and a divine thing. Then you will experience and understand what God meant in  
1 Peter 4:8  where he says, “Love covers over a multitude of sins." 

Finally, learn to love God’s way as in 1 Corinthians 13:1-8. In this passage God gives us an amazing blueprint for how to love your spouse. Own this passage of the bible. Substitute your name in all of the place where the words, 'love' and 'it' appear then imitate those actions. 

It is my hope and my prayer that God will bless your marriage with the incredible reconciliation that he has blessed mine with. God then went a step further with us to more than just restore our relationship. God gave us an even better relationship and a greater love than we had ever experienced or had before and for this we will forever be grateful. 

Training Yourself (To Be A Godly Man)

I was asked to do a short talk sharing with some men in our church on a scripture pertaining to training yourself to be godly.  In 1^st Timothy 4:7-8 the bible states, “For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.”

I had to ponder for several minutes about what to say to them. Obviously going to church, listening carefully to the message, taking notes and reading the bible are all training but I wanted to share what really helped to train me. To prepare for sharing, I started off with reading the scripture quoted above then I started to read other scriptures that mention the word godliness. As I was reading I began to feel stuck so I did something I should have done in the first place which was to pray. After looking up from my prayer my eyes fell upon my journals sitting on my bookshelf.   I picked one up to see if I had previously written anything down about training myself to be godly when suddenly it hit me.  For me the very act of writing in my journals was how I trained myself to be godly.  I have filed up three journals and I am currently working on my fourth. In my journals I write down my personal thoughts about things that are troubling me or inspiring me and I write down inspiring scriptures.   In my journals, I also admit to myself and to God what my part was in starting a conflict, and then I go ahead and forgive the other person’s role in the conflict. I also write down what emotions I am feeling and then write down some conclusions about why I feel those emotions.  It gets better; next I will write down exactly what I need to do to repent and how I’m going to make amends for my own wrong behavior. In conclusion when I speak to the men tonight; I plan to share with them that journaling was how I trained myself to be a godly man and that I still write in my journal today.

The Elephant in the Closet

Take a  Google eyed view of your neighborhood and you will see the roofs of many households. Have you ever wondered how many of those families have a skeleton in the closet?  I’ll wager you that the answer is most of them.  A skeleton in the closet is something shameful and potentially damaging if exposed. Therefore an individual or even the whole family tries to conceal it. The problem with something shameful being hidden away is that sometimes it may get out on its own. How stressful and fearful that must be. So why not just let the skeleton out yourself by admitting the wrong? 

Sadly, if your letting out your secret is not handled in just the right way, it may become the elephant in the room.  

An elephant in the room is an important and obvious topic which everyone present is aware of, but is never discussed because it is too uncomfortable. So once you tire of this elephant in the room, you banish it back to the closet. But then you will have an elephant in your closet. So what is the best way of admitting a serious wrong? I'm talking about personal wrongs here involving a family member not  about prosecutable crimes. Talk to someone else about it first, a neutral spiritual person who can give wise counsel. Also pray hard for God to give you just the right opportunity and forum to let it out in. Admitting the truth will not be easy but it will bring both freedom and healing to your household. In the long run you will not regret getting rid of  all the skeletons and elephants in your life. Once you allow light into your life you will begin to see the goodness that you've' been missing. 

Summer of tough love in San Francisco

I didn't go to Haight and Ashbury streets when I first visited San Francisco back in 1977 towards the end of the hippie era. I am sure it was different then because Jimi, Janice and Jim Morrison had only been gone for just six or seven years then.  Now in June of 2013 I was finally able to visit the birthplace of hippodrome's flower children. I rode a crowded city bus up from downtown San Francisco which let me off right there Haight and Ashbury. Today it's now a tourist destination with many gift shops lining both sides of the street for a seven block area. There were lots of young people around as they once were in that bygone era; some of them local, others just tourists like me, and still others backpacking their way from far off states. These young people weren't hippies in the classic sense but maybe some of them were the sons and daughters of hippies.

My observation was that many young people were living off the land and in the streets of San Francisco. I noticed several local young people hanging out on Haight Street, trying to look hip but who looked scruffy and also their clothes were tattered. I heard some of them talking and I could definitely hear a hard street edge to their speech.   It would be unfair for me to judge the whole area by just a few and I am not doing that. I'm just saying that I did observe an unusually large number of young homeless people hanging around the area on two particular summer days in June of 2013.

Haight street dead ends at Golden Gate Park. I looked towards the park from across the street. I could see that there were many young people congregating in that park but I was too far away to see what they were about. Overall Haight- Ashbury is a historic, well maintained  and clean area, with beautiful old houses. But there were numerous young homeless people all over the place but they did not seem to be unfriendly.

My research into the area concluded that it is very expensive to live in San Francisco. The average house there will cost about a million dollars and that is allot of bread. I explored several other parts of the city of San Francisco and it my opinion that as a whole the city is very beautiful and I am in love with it and have been since I first came there in 77 and twice more since then. But beware of going there if you are planning on staying; homelessness waits for you there if you don’t have a well paying job or at least very good prospects to get one. 

Men Express More Love (than you think)

My theory is this. Not only are men just as romantic as women are but men may actually be even more romantic than women. 

I was watching the Bachelorette show on TV with my wife who likes and watches almost every season of those shows. I asked her, who has the most drama, the men on the Bachelorette show or the women on the Bachelor show? She replied that, "the men on the Bachelorette show seem to have more drama than women because, we are not expecting men to express strong feelings as much as women do." She added that, "In general women more often than men  express their emotions." 

I have heard this before that women are more emotional, more romantic, more loving, and more tender hearted and that they express their feelings much more often than men do. On the other hand we men are viewed as being, unimaginative and unable to express our feelings although sometimes, we might have a good heart. Suddenly, I was hit by an inspiration coming out of my great love for music; so I asked her this question. "If men so rarely express their feelings, then why is it that men write most of the love songs?"  “You know, you may have something there,” she said. What do you think? Below are two links; the first being the lyrics to a love song called, ‘I’ll have to say I love you in a song’, by Jim Croce and the second link is for a list of the top100 love songs list which also shows the songwriters names. This is not scientific but the lists that I have seen sure seem to back up my hypothesis about men being even more romantic that women.  Feel free to check out my earlier post entitled: The Saint Valentine’s Day Reversal, for more on this topic.

Love and Divorce

“The look of love is in your eyes. A look your smile can’t disguise. The look of love is saying so much more than just words could ever say.” Those are words from a love song The Look of Love, written by Burt Bacharach & Hal David. Not long ago I sat in a court waiting for my turn to approach a judge concerning my client’s divorce matter. It was then that I noticed something about a man who had just finished having his divorce GRANTED. As he turned to leave, there was a look on his face that etched itself into my consciousness. He looked so resolute but also he looked deeply crushed. I imagined seeing him with a different expression on his face, in another public setting -on his wedding day. On that happy day he would have had The Look Of Love on his face and I wondered, where had the love he once had gone? 

Right after the sad man left a middle aged couple came forward. The husband was carrying a small plastic filing case in his hand which was no doubt filed with evidence to support his side of things but his lawyer paid no attention to what he carried.  This couple resembled each other as longtime spouses sometimes do. Their faces didn't betray any anger or sadness instead they just looked all business. Thoroughly ready to just get this divorce over with and get their property divided and to just move on. Their divorce too was GRANTED by the Court. I imagined them too as they may have looked on their wedding day: Him standing broad shouldered and smiling looking right at his bride and she the lovely bride dressed in her white gown, sharing The look of love with her beloved.  Where did their love go, why did it go? I really wanted to know because I never want to be in their shoes and carry that look of love's end on my face. There are just so many marriages in peril of coming apart like theirs aren't there? Or maybe your marriage already has ended. But if and when we find a new love what are the chances of the next marriage lasting? 

Perhaps we can take instruction from the Bible in Luke 8:1-15. This is the parable Jesus told about the soils. I will substitute the word love for the word seed in the parable just to illustrate a point. 

First off, there are those couples who do not marry for love. Perhaps they don’t even know what love is or maybe, love is simply not something that is essential to them. Their love is like the seed that falls along the path and is immediately eaten up by the birds. What little love they have, if any, is quickly taken away from their hearts before it can take root.

There are other people who fall in love quickly but perhaps their love is of a conditional or shallow nature. When their conditions are not met, the marriage is over. Their love is like the seed that falls on rocky soil. They love for awhile but when tested, they fall out of love and out of the marriage quickly.

Then there are some couples who I think are in the majority that marry for love. For awhile things are going just great in their life but then their feelings change. Their love gets choked out by life’s worries, riches and pleasures just like the seed that fell among the thorns; and when the plants grew they were choked out. My own marriage was most certainly one of these yet, I stubbornly and without justification cling to the belief that my marriage fell into the last category, the good soil category.

This last group which I believe it is a very small group, has a type of love that is like the seed that falls on good soil. In verse 15 it says; "Of noble and good heart retaining love and persevering to produce fruit." These lucky couples have the kind of  love that endures throughout their entire life together. 

I have known some couples who make marriage look easy but personally, I had to learn the hard way that marriage takes hard work and sacrifices. Consider the farmer who works the soil. Even with good soil, the farmer is not guaranteed a good crop. He still has to do backbreaking work tilling the soil, harvesting the crops and then repeating this hard work over and over again. The farmer must also be prepared for all manner of contingencies that may arise including bad weather and droughts. 

Perhaps we can gain hope from the realization that thorny soil conditions can be overcome through hard work like the farmer's. We will also receive lots of help from Jesus who is always ready to help us. When we are careful to do exactly as he says instead of relying on our own wisdom our marriage will succeed. Jesus will pour his love out into our hearts and this incredible love will overflow right into your spouse's heart. I have personally experienced this incredible miracle. By God's grace, I received much more than just a renewal of the love that I may have lost. I received a new love, a greater love than I had ever possessed before.  This is an experience that is too wonderful for anyone to miss. 

It has  been a few years since our marriage was transformed. But The look of love is still on our faces thanks be to God.  Good luck to all married couples and may God bless you with the will to work hard on your marriages and may you accept his help to succeed in your marriage. 

Super size that salad

Digging into my bowl shoveling green lettuce and red tomatoes into my mouth reminds me of the time the Earth was attacked by the Anortrists. They had sent down from orbit, giant siphons which carved up and stole everything green and alive that they touched. Shovel, shovel, shovel, on and on they went until they were satisfied. That is, until their storage bins were full. Then off they went back to their sterile, fake asteroid to eat. What we thought were naturally occurring ‘Acts of God’ like tornadoes and earthquakes were anything but that. These were the unnatural Acts of Aliens – though in a way; their behavior was natural enough, even earthly. You see aliens too have to eat; even though they didn't have the manners to ask first. I don’t recall Europeans asking the Indians for a continent first, how relatable they are to us.

Getting to "I love you!"

How to get to "I love you, Je t’aime or Te amo," when you meet somebody new?  For me this went very quickly because we 'clicked' right away when we first met. For some this love click takes a little longer.  What is this click? Well I don’t mean the Xhosa South African language click. The love click is when you suddenly realize that you like a person and there is nothing platonic about it. It is both an emotional connection and an intellectual one in equal measure. 

This doesn't mean that you will necessarily fully understand what it is you're feeling at that very moment. This realization will often come later but hopefully not too late. I say it’s an emotional reaction because you can feel it happen. It’s also an intellectual process because after some reflection and you still like the whole package, then take your shot at love. Sounds analytical but it worked for me and could work for you also.  Don’t forget to share with them how you feel and maybe play this song for good measure:  Don't Walk Away From Me one of my faves by Whitney Houston.

Fang Restaurant in San Francisco

Best Chinese food ever. Really!

Bringing In The Herd

I've got to bring in the herd even if it's winter time. And yes, I've got a Winchester just in case any aliens rear their scaly green hides! And no that's not a Winchester or a pack of Marlboro cigarettes that I'm holding in my hand. See the link.

Fancy Pants (Daydreaming)

For as long as I can remember, daydreams have always been for me a major form of inner entertainment. Daydreaming or flights of fancy allow me to travel far away ... Away from where I am and what I am doing at that very moment. Where's the harm in that, it’s only for about ten or fifteen minutes that I escape. A window to look through is usually helpful -for my escapes from the mundane. But a windowless room can be more like a prison to me.  Sometimes, I'll even daydream while driving, yet I always stay safe because I can drive on autopilot. 

While flights of fancy are pleasant things, there are other types of inner thoughts known as ruminations, rehearsals, and rehashing that are gloomy and exhausting because they often involve either bad circumstances or conflicts with others.  Phew! I've got to cut those off before they make me feel miserable. Then there is a third category of inner thoughts known as fantasies. Fantasies  are like daydreams that are wearing  dark hooded cloaks! They can be about guilty things that should definitely be kept private, better yet treated by a therapist. But the best of all for me are daydreams. They have greatly enriched my life and I just can't imagine what boredom I would have felt without them.

Driving lessons for the blind

Pass on the left, stay to the right always use your signals.  Maintain a steady speed; get out of the left lane if at all possible when approached from the rear. Do not text, do not watch TV; drive as if your life depended on it -it does! This is especially true when driving long distances on an interstate. 

I am serious, it makes me furious that all too often the rules of the road are ignored or worse, a driver is clueless that there are good driving rules of the road. Such drivers are the blind that my post title refers to.   Once you reach an urban center, the rules go out the window and you may as well slow down, and watch out for local yokels, who may be speeding and weaving in and out of traffic and blasting loud music. You've got to expect  that within the city limits; keep on driving you will soon leave them behind and once again reach the peace of the open road.

In another post, I will write an exposition about getting from point A to a distant point B like a pro; when you are in a hurry.

Love or compassion for the lost?

Love or Compassion for the Lost ?

Intro: 

Who was ever more lost than this guy Chuck Noland, in the movie Cast Away. Not long ago I heard an evangelist preaching about spiritually lost people. His challenge to his audience was for us to ask (30) people a (7) word question: Would You Study the Bible with Me? Inspired by this, I wrote down some thoughts and devised a 'movie therapy' lesson exploring this concept.

First, some Q & A about sharing your faith with someone who is lost i.e., someone who needs to find God:

Q.        Why would we consider doing such a thing, this sharing of our faith in God?

A.        Because we love the lost!

Q         How many of us actually love the lost?

A.        I can’t honestly say that I love the lost as a group. Usually, I love only people that I know personally, or who are somehow, lovable. There are exceptions.

RUN FILM CLIP (15 minutes) from the film Cast Away, starring Tom Hanks, a film well worth watching again in its entirety.

SCENE 1.

Man was lost on an island for 4 years and finally escaped to sea on a log raft and drifted for 500 miles lost and alone on a raft with only his make believe friend, Wilson.

SCENE 2.

Man filling coconuts with water, latter that night he hears a sound and a whale surfaces and takes a look at him.

DID YOU SEE THAT WHALE LOOK AT HIM?

SCENE 3. (several days latter)

Wilson, falls off the raft and the whale has returned to spray man with water to wake him up to Wilson’s plight!

DID YOU SEE THE WHALE SPRAY THE MAN TO WAKE HIM UP TO THE FACT THAT HIS FRIEND WAS DRIFTING AWAY?

SCENE 4 (several hours or days latter)

Nothing on the horizon and the man lies weeping alone on the raft; he gives up hope and throws his paddles away is despair.  But, the whale returns and sprays the man twice to wake him up in time to see that a ship is near and the man is rescued.

DID YOU SEE THE WHALE SPRAY THE MAN TWICE TO WAKE HIM UP TO SEE THAT A SHIP WAS NEAR?

Commentary:

Webster’s Dictionary definitions:

LOVE is defined as – A strong affection for another arising out of kinship (relationship)  or personal ties.

COMPASSION is defined as – Sympathetic consciousness (awareness) of other’s distress; together with a desire to alleviate (lighten, ease) it.

Of course the bible is full of references to  LOVE, with many references to God’s love for man and our love for God and a few references to man’s love for one another; e.g., Leviticus 19:18 Love your neighbor as yourself and in the  new testament, Matthew 19:19 Love your neighbor as yourself.

There are also many references in the bible to COMPASSION; e.g., 2 Corinthians 1:3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion. Colossians 3:12 Therefore as God’s chosen people holy and dearly loved clothe yourselves with compassion.

Now it’s time for some Q & A follow ups:

Q.        Did the whale show love or did it show compassion for the lost man?

Q.        Why did the whale show compassion for the lost man?

Q.        Where does compassion come from?

Q.        Is it easier to share your faith out of love for the lost or out of compassion for the lost?

Q.        Would our reaction be different to the (30) person challenge to share about  God; if we had compassion for the lost instead of trying to love the lost?

Conclusion:

I think it is possible to experience both love and compassion at the same time.  But sometimes we feel either one or the other. But as long as you feel something, either love or compassion, you can still reach out to someone. It is called having a heart after God's own heart. 

It's Not The Train, It's the Locomotive That Kills You

Have you ever played baseball swung the bat and squarely hit the ball?  One second the ball is coming towards you and then whack!  Now its flying off in another direction. One night, I saw a train do that to a car from about ten feet away on November 3, 2009.  The car was stationary with it's back end hanging over the tracks when wham! The locomotive hit it and the car went flying on impact. I had never before seen a car sized object fly off right in front of me; after being hit by a building sized object. The glass and metal pieces of the car went flying everywhere just like the pieces from a popped air balloon.  The sound of the impact itself merged into one terrible sound from the train engine, it's bellowing horn,  rolling metal wheels, screeching breaks and the car itself being instantly demolished.  Fortunately, the car was unoccupied when the train hit it. The two would be occupants of the car were two women but they were safely standing right alongside me away from the tracks.  Prior to the wreck I saved their lives by getting them out of their doomed car seconds before the train hit their car. Since then I still drive cross those same train tracks right where this happened and I remember that night.

There was a local newspaper article printed about the incident titled: "Local Attorney Saves two women from major train accident." You can check out the article by clicking on the above 'Local Attorney' link or view image below.

Fort Bend Star Wednesday, November 11, 2009